As a man, I used to think I was pretty much just a regular person, but I was born white, into a two-parent household which now, whether I like it or not, makes me "Privileged", a racist and responsible for slavery.

I am a fiscal and moral conservative, which by today's standards, makes me a fascist because I plan, budget and support myself.

I went to High School, got in some college, got a degree and have always held a job.  But I now find out that I am not here because I earned it, but because I was "advantaged".

I am heterosexual, which according to "gay" folks, now makes me a homophobe.

I am not a Muslim, which now labels me as an infidel.

I believe in the 2-nd Amendment, which makes me a de facto member of the "vast NRA gun lobby".

I am older than 70, making me a useless eater who doesn't understand Facebook, Instagram or Snapchat.

I think and I reason, and I doubt much of what the "main stream" media tells me, which makes me a "Right-wing conspiracy nut".

I am proud of my heritage and our inclusive American culture, making me a xenophobe.

I believe in hard work, fair play, and fair compensation according to each individual's merits, which today makes me an anti-socialist.

I believe our system guarantees freedom of effort — not freedom of outcome or subsidies which must make me a borderline sociopath.

I believe in the defense and protection of America for and by all citizens, now making me a militant.

I am proud of our flag, what it stands for and the many who died to let it fly, so I stand and salute during our National Anthem — so I must be a racist.

Please help me come to terms with the new me because I'm just not sure who I am anymore!  Funny — it all took place over the last 7 or 8 years!

If all this nonsense wasn't enough to deal with, now I don't even know which restroom to use… and I gotta go more FREQUENTLY.